Quick Answer: How Do You Address Chinese In-Laws?
Mandarin uses different labels for a husband’s parents and a wife’s parents. In person, a married partner may use the same everyday words as their spouse, such as Dad (爸, bà) and Mom (妈, mā).[1][2]
- When describing the relation. The exact label tells the listener whose parent it is.[1][2]
- When speaking to the person. Use the form of address the household prefers.[1][2]
- When the parents meet. They have a separate term for the relationship between their two families.[3]
The speaker’s position in the family determines which label makes sense.
A person might use a precise in-law term while introducing someone to a colleague, then switch to “Dad” when turning to greet the same person. One identifies a relationship for a third person. The other is a greeting.[1][2]
Mandarin Terms for Your Spouse’s Parents
English uses “father-in-law” and “mother-in-law” for either side. Mandarin can identify the relationship more precisely. Read each row from the perspective of the married person doing the speaking.[1][2]
| Relationship to the speaker | Mandarin term |
|---|---|
| Husband’s father | 公公 (gōnggong) |
| Husband’s mother | 婆婆 (pópo) |
| Wife’s father | 岳父 (yuèfù) |
| Wife’s mother | 岳母 (yuèmǔ) |
There are everyday alternatives. In Taiwan, a wife’s father may also be referred to as 丈人 (zhàngren), and her mother as 丈母娘 (zhàngmǔniáng). These are useful to recognize even when the person uses a simpler word at home.[2]
What to Say in Person
If you are married and the household uses Dad or Mom with you, follow that choice. A line such as “Dad, please have some tea” addresses the person directly. A sentence about whose father is arriving can use the more precise kinship label.[1][2]
Ask your partner what their relatives use before a family event. They can tell you whether to follow their greeting or use a different form. The same distinction between naming a relative and speaking to them can come up with Cantonese kinship terms and Hokkien kinship terms.
When the Parents Address Each Other
The term for co-parents-in-law (親家, qìngjia) comes from the parents’ perspective. One parent may use it when speaking to the parents of their child’s spouse. The dictionary records the term in historical works, including an account involving marriage between two court families in the New Book of Tang.[3]
The history of Chinese marriage contracts gives a separate view of how families formalized such ties.
FAQs About Chinese In-Law Address Terms
What do I say at a first meeting?
Ask your partner what the parents would like to be called. The relationship label you would give to an outsider can sound more formal than the greeting used in that household.[1][2]
Can I use the Mandarin terms in a Cantonese or Hokkien household?
Use the form the family uses in the language it speaks. Even a term with similar meaning can have a different pronunciation or a different use as a direct greeting.[2][4]
Sources
[1] Jeroen Wiedenhof. A Grammar of Mandarin, §4.3, Kinship Terms
[2] Taiwan secondary-school teaching material. Table of Forms of Address for Family Members
[3] Taiwan Ministry of Education. Revised Mandarin Dictionary: Qìngjia
[4] Taiwan Ministry of Education. Dictionary of Taiwanese: Family and Lineage Terms